Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
