If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
