Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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