I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
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