He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
