ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
