so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
