My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
