my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
