Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
