I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
