whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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