ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
