apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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