I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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