You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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