If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
