I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize