I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Mom said you looked used
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
