Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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