Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
