Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
