I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
