you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
