Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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