The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize