Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
