hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
