I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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