"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize