Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
