Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
