My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
