After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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