and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
