dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
