Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize