Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
