sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
