I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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