I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
So. Much. Porn.
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