NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
