What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
