So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
