quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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