I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
