omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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