a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
id be glad to
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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