New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
