Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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