sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just pee around me
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
