you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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