Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
