I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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