This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
