so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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