if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Small penises have feelings too.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
