Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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