Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
