Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
