Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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