arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
