Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
