Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
