Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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